Yay!!!! (dancing smiley) you just got engaged, but your family members do not want you to be great, suddenly aunty Coker wants to be in charge of drinks and cousin Tiwa’s daughter who is almost a pre-teen wants to be your little bride, coupled with some rather awkward conversations with family members or friends who assume they are going to be more involved in the day than they actually are… (insert face palm emoji here).,
We thought we’d share some ideas on how to include your family & friends in your wedding day without giving them formal roles:
FLOWER GIRLS & PAGE BOYS
Children love having an official task to do – for the smallest of flower girls and page boys, simply walking down the aisle holding your train is enough. If the issue is that you don’t want someone’s child to be a flower girl or page boy, then you’ll need to be honest. An early word with their parents will make things clear and by the time the wedding comes round, they will have forgotten all about it. If it’s really going to cause difficulties for you, then consider just allowing the child to be involved but suggest that they meet you at the church, rather than joining you to get ready.
PLAY TO THEIR STRENGTHS
So someone wants to do a reading, but they are terrible at public speaking? Work out what they are good at and ask if they can contribute to your wedding day in another way. Perhaps they are friends who didn’t quite make the bridesmaids list but love to craft? Get them involved in making your place names or Table Tags.
WEDDING READINGS
A loud, assertive family member might make an irritating bridesmaid – but perhaps they’d be the perfect person to do a reading in church Or if you have children who are keen to be involved, but you’re not having flower girls or page boys, then ask their parents if they’d like to do a reading. While this can be terrifying for grown-ups, children present to their peers frequently and nerves don’t seem to bother them half as much as we adults!
ORDER OF SERVICE DISTRIBUTOR
Likewise, those beautiful order of service cards you’ve had printed will need to be set out neatly – this is a great job for someone who is really keen to be involved in helping. Again either place one on each chair, or hand out to guests as they arrive.
DELEGATE (HIRE A PROFESSIONAL)
We know this is much easier said than done, but if you’re planning a wedding without a planner or a coordinator, then having lots of help from family and friends is essential. If you’re saying no to help because you want to do it all yourself, rather than because you actually don’t want that person in particular to be involved, then think about letting go a little because you really can’t do it all. However, if you genuinely don’t want a certain person to take on a formal role for your wedding day, then just be clear about this from the start.
Hopefully the ideas above will help you in making suggestions for other things they could do, and we’d love to know the ways you’ve decided to include your friends and family in your big day, without making them a part of the wedding party. But be sure to involve the expertise of a wedding planner.
