Nothing resonates with the hearts of today’s brides and grooms like personalized wedding services. More and more, we see personalized touches but of all the ways to personalize a wedding, nothing could be more personal than writing your own wedding vows. Wedding vows, “are the heart and climax of every wedding ceremony.” Who wouldn’t love a clear personalized vow that contains real promises and elicit real emotions with style and grace. Here are few tips that can help the writing process be less overwhelming!
Decision
Just like other major wedding decisions, ensure that writing your own vows resonates with you. It will help if writing comes naturally for you and also if you have a powerful response towards poetry and literature. How well do you respond to hand written letters? Do you feel your best when you are creatively or personally expressed? If your response is in the affirmative, then be certain to proceed because choosing your own words for your personal promises and saying them out loud can make the commitment feel more deliberate and stronger.
Get Approval
In Nigeria, some church practices disallow the use of personal vows and expressions and require that you recite the vows custom made by the church. It is best that after the decision of writing your vow has been made you should get an approval from your official/church. If it is prohibited in your church, you can always say your own private vows to each other at the reception or during an intimate moment and remember to capture it.
Set The Tone
After getting approval, you might want to have a discussion with your partner to talk about the length of the vow, format, tone and scope of your vows. It is best to always have a common framework to avoid writing vows that don’t vibe. Imagine if you decide to recite a poem for the first few minutes and your fiancé told jokes for five minutes. It is best that both personalized vows are complementary without necessarily sharing all the details in terms of words.
Creative Space
It’s time to embrace the creative process and make that process beautiful. Set a gentle creative mood with music, wine, lovely scenery etc. Its best to write in a relaxed state. In this reflective space, you get to be as nostalgic as you like and you can let your mind drift to dreams of the future. Write down everything that comes to your mind without judgement. Critique and reflective analysis can come later.
When in doubt? Look to Literature!
Immerse yourself in poetry, seek out rare poems, passages and authors and avoid the common ones except they are your favorite. Poetry is intimate and when read well creates a feeling that transcends the couple and reaches out to influence the audience.
Read Old Letters/emails or Text
This will come in handy if you hoard letters, emails or text received from your fiancé. If you have kept a journal over the course of your relationship, run to it because it’s a major goldmine to look back on moments and memories and ensure to use elements of your experience.
Speak About the Trials
Love grows through adversity, ensure to reflect on the obstacles you have worked through in the course of the relationship. Express what it means to have made it through pain to this moment of healing, beauty and union.
Incorporate Your Faith /Or Cultural Heritage
As you write your vows, ensure to infuse elements of your faith and cultural heritage. Some couples include proverbs from their cultural background into their vows which adds texture and context to the promises they make to each other. This will be a sweet tribute to the love and legacy that formed you. As you research your ancestry and background, you could take the opportunity to connect with family.
Practice
Give your vows the gift of your preparation. Practicing your vows will give you peace of mind and calm a case of wedding-day nerves. You want to be able, at certain points in your vows, to look up from your vow book and speak directly to your partner. To lock eyes. To speak to the soul. These promises can only feel innate if you spend time getting acquainted with them.
Keep Forever
If you want to create vows that last forever, consider how to preserve them. Consider having your wedding artwork printed on a beautiful vow book or stationery. This artwork transcends the wedding day and can become a fixture in your lives—and your children’s lives
I hope you find this helpful? Now pick up your writing pad and enjoy writing your vow.
Remember to live Cheerfully
